Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Episode 2: What the Kneel

I am really not sure what I had said last week so I hope I dont't repeat myself. Also please excuse my declining english skills. Time is so short and I am also losing my brain capacity for anything other than Russian. :) hahah RUssian is crazy. I LOVE IT. I am definately at a disadvantage at this point having never taken a language before but I am growing as everyone does.

I started out this journey feeling washed out in an ocean of special spirit. I wrote in my journal "I feel like my sunshine has been locked away" I was not myself for the first couple days and it was frightening. But rest assured my loved ones. I have blossomed and everyone now gets to see what a lunatic I am :)

speaking of not being myself.... I walk into the residents bathroom to hear "they are riding matresseses down the stairs" I was a alone and I say to myself "That is completely inapropriate" hahaha WHO AM I. We all know that is something I would TOTALYL love too do. I am just so mature :) hehe. funny story. First week they have every one who has been effected by the age change and I am pretty sure 1 million misses and a bounty of elders stand up!!! I am sittting in a chair with some senior couples and like 10 other people.. hahaha I AM AN OLD WOMAN. Lets just say there is a lot of flirting going on here :)

My companions name is Sister Dryden she is from Virginia. I love her. We have a lot of fun and we are both very patient. I am so grateful for her :)

I love my teachers. I am pretty sure my and my district were blessed with the best teachers in the entire MTC. Our district is also very mature. I have seriously been so blessed. The MTC is so full of change and rollercoasters but in every way I could have been blessed I have.

I had the best conversation the other day with my teacher in an interview about revalation and inspiration. (ps would someone send me he conference talk on that... and also revalation or inspriration, which? it is by Bruce R mconki. I really want to read it. (despite my inability to spell anything I am still capable of reading :) hahahaha.

I have grown so much already. (and my belly too. I just want everyone to know fat face is real. They give us so much cookies I think I might die :)

but truthfully. I love it here. We are constantly enriched. I wish I had time to share all of the many ways we learn.
 The lord love his children so much. and he REALLY love his misisonaries. I came with some questions that were in a way obsructing my full purpose of heart serving, but in just two weeks I have had EVERY single one of them answered through so many different means. I did not really feel that different being set apart and coming into the MTC but as I reflect I can see there is a major difference.
 This is where I need to be.

I still see some elders all dressed and think "AHHHHH MISSIONARIES" then I look down and see. I AM A MISSIONARY. Those missionary army hords that used to be an optical in my life are NOW MY LIFE. I am apart of this army. I love it. My new favorite scripture. Matew 39 "and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it" I feel like I have just begun a journey to discovering the rest of my life.

Like I said at my farewell I don't think you ever come fully prepared for this experience. but growth is inevitable. I feel so edified. I press forward on this journey with even more purpose of heart than I thought possible. 

I have begun to forget the outside world. It used to be such a shock to see the "outside worrrrrrld" :O The MTC is the strangest litle bubble with time that is truly truly a species of its own. I feel like I have been here a million years. yet nothing at the same time. I am sure many have heard ---- the days feel like weeks and the weeks feel like days. IT IS THE TRUTH. Time is so strange here. Every day a roller coaster --- but every day is a new day. I have been dilligent in keeping my own advice and just choosing to be happy because tomorrow brings a new day. LIKE TODAY. let me tell you a litle story from yesterday.

We have investigators each week. We had our first meeting with Vadeem. As we all know I am an AMAZING public performer with great speech skills (SHOOTKA (joke)) I am the WORST. my little heart turns into a million pound humming bird and my brains to spagghetti. ---- this is a great combination for a meeting with someone who speaks only Russian and I OBVIOUSLY do not.

The lesson was actually going really well. He was understanding me. I was playing a very role and I was understanding most of what was being said to us and responding apporopriately.(in russian of course) It comes time that I needs teach this investigator to pray! I knew exactly what I was doing. I so thought that I had been inspired to ask everyone to kneel in prayer for our lesson in praying WELP! That is not a very good idea if you do not even know how to explain what in the goodness you are doing crawling around on your knees on the floor.

- I get down on my knees thinking my companion will follow. (she did not realize that I had alread explained that I would teach him to pray and had begun the process because it was in RUSSIAN hahahah) HOW DO YOU SAY KNEEL. how do I explain myself. WHAT AM I DOING ON THE FLOOR "What is she doing on the floor" flustery and embarresed,anywho. I am down on my knees saing "may we" (in russian) and she just STARES at me --- thinking whhhhhatt the heck are you doing. I proceed to get back in my chair to look over at vadeem and he is says "what?" I get back on the floor again feeling soooooooooooooo dumb. tring to get them to come. I whisper "kneel" and she just stares. She then proceeds to tell vadeem AGAIN that I am going to teach him how to pray HE KNEW THAT I has already explained that. hahahahahaha. so then I am here. so embaressed. looking like a lunatic crawling around on my knees with no means to explain what in the good world I was tryin to do. I think I even forgot how to say sorry because I was so shocked at the turn of event. Well now I am forced into a prayer. Without further explaining myself I begin my very simple prayer and LOSE IT. I burst into laughter. I was just so embarressed I was incapable of praying. we both lose it. The moment has become chaos. Embaressment. lost words. Well that is a perfectly good plan when you are trying to teach someone to pray to kneel. if you know how to EXPLAIN THAT. ! I love to laugh in the middle of public prayers (Rexi :) ) NOT bad idea. I was so incapable of finishing the prayer. the embarressment just increases as does the laughter and there was no recovering from that. My companion. Thank good ness for her. ends my misery "in the name of Jesus Christ" I am horible.

The MTC is an institute of embarresment and resiliance. LOL Could I have done worse,. For sure. I have certainly learned to laugh at myself (sometimes in the most inopportune moments) To be honest in the best way I could, I redeemed myself. The lesson really went well other than my mental episode and our investigator delivereed one of the most beauitul prayers I have ever almost understood :) --- he will probably get babtized. I will win him with my charm. hahaha. cause my Russian certainly wont do the trick.

Look forward to my MTC survival guide it is going to be some good stuff--- including how to enjoy some two ply t-p :) hahahaha.

TIME TO GO. never enough time. it is flying.

I love you all I miss you. WRITE ME

use dear elder. write letters. I miss everyone. 

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