I am really not sure what I had said last week so I hope I
dont't repeat myself. Also please excuse my declining english skills. Time is
so short and I am also losing my brain capacity for anything other than
Russian. :) hahah RUssian is crazy. I LOVE IT. I am definately at a
disadvantage at this point having never taken a language before but I am
growing as everyone does.
I started out this journey feeling washed out in an ocean of
special spirit. I wrote in my journal "I feel like my sunshine has been
locked away" I was not myself for the first couple days and it was
frightening. But rest assured my loved ones. I have blossomed and everyone now
gets to see what a lunatic I am :)
speaking of not being myself.... I walk into the residents
bathroom to hear "they are riding matresseses down the stairs" I was
a alone and I say to myself "That is completely inapropriate" hahaha
WHO AM I. We all know that is something I would TOTALYL love too do. I am just
so mature :) hehe. funny story. First week they have every one who has been
effected by the age change and I am pretty sure 1 million misses and a bounty
of elders stand up!!! I am sittting in a chair with some senior couples and
like 10 other people.. hahaha I AM AN OLD WOMAN. Lets just say there is a lot
of flirting going on here :)
My companions name is Sister Dryden she is from Virginia. I
love her. We have a lot of fun and we are both very patient. I am so grateful
for her :)
I love my teachers. I am pretty sure my and my district were
blessed with the best teachers in the entire MTC. Our district is also very
mature. I have seriously been so blessed. The MTC is so full of change and
rollercoasters but in every way I could have been blessed I have.
I had the best conversation the other day with my teacher in
an interview about revalation and inspiration. (ps would someone send me he
conference talk on that... and also revalation or inspriration, which? it is by
Bruce R mconki. I really want to read it. (despite my inability to spell
anything I am still capable of reading :) hahahaha.
I have grown so much already. (and my belly too. I just
want everyone to know fat face is real. They give us so much cookies I
think I might die :)
but truthfully. I love it here. We are constantly enriched.
I wish I had time to share all of the many ways we learn.
The lord love his children so much. and he REALLY love
his misisonaries. I came with some questions that were in a way obsructing my
full purpose of heart serving, but in just two weeks I have had EVERY single
one of them answered through so many different means. I did not really feel
that different being set apart and coming into the MTC but as I reflect I can
see there is a major difference.
This is where I need to be.
I still see some elders all dressed and think "AHHHHH
MISSIONARIES" then I look down and see. I AM A MISSIONARY. Those
missionary army hords that used to be an optical in my life are NOW MY LIFE. I
am apart of this army. I love it. My new favorite scripture. Matew 39
"and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it" I feel
like I have just begun a journey to discovering the rest of my life.
Like I said at my farewell I don't think you ever come fully
prepared for this experience. but growth is inevitable. I feel so edified. I
press forward on this journey with even more purpose of heart than I
thought possible.
I have begun to forget the outside world. It used to be such
a shock to see the "outside worrrrrrld" :O The MTC is the strangest
litle bubble with time that is truly truly a species of its own. I feel like I
have been here a million years. yet nothing at the same time. I am sure many
have heard ---- the days feel like weeks and the weeks feel like days. IT IS
THE TRUTH. Time is so strange here. Every day a roller coaster --- but every
day is a new day. I have been dilligent in keeping my own advice and just
choosing to be happy because tomorrow brings a new day. LIKE TODAY. let me tell
you a litle story from yesterday.
We have investigators each week. We had our first meeting
with Vadeem. As we all know I am an AMAZING public performer with great speech
skills (SHOOTKA (joke)) I am the WORST. my little heart turns into a million
pound humming bird and my brains to spagghetti. ---- this is a great
combination for a meeting with someone who speaks only Russian and I OBVIOUSLY
do not.
The lesson was actually going really well. He was
understanding me. I was playing a very role and I was understanding most of
what was being said to us and responding apporopriately.(in russian of
course) It comes time that I needs teach this investigator to pray! I knew
exactly what I was doing. I so thought that I had been inspired to ask everyone
to kneel in prayer for our lesson in praying WELP! That is not a very good idea
if you do not even know how to explain what in the goodness you are doing
crawling around on your knees on the floor.
- I get down on my knees thinking my companion will follow.
(she did not realize that I had alread explained that I would teach him to pray
and had begun the process because it was in RUSSIAN hahahah) HOW DO YOU SAY
KNEEL. how do I explain myself. WHAT AM I DOING ON THE FLOOR "What is she
doing on the floor" flustery and embarresed,anywho. I am down on my knees
saing "may we" (in russian) and she just STARES at me --- thinking
whhhhhatt the heck are you doing. I proceed to get back in my chair to look
over at vadeem and he is says "what?" I get back on the floor again
feeling soooooooooooooo dumb. tring to get them to come. I whisper
"kneel" and she just stares. She then proceeds to tell vadeem AGAIN
that I am going to teach him how to pray HE KNEW THAT I has already explained
that. hahahahahaha. so then I am here. so embaressed. looking like a lunatic
crawling around on my knees with no means to explain what in the good world I
was tryin to do. I think I even forgot how to say sorry because I was so shocked
at the turn of event. Well now I am forced into a prayer. Without further
explaining myself I begin my very simple prayer and LOSE IT. I burst into
laughter. I was just so embarressed I was incapable of praying. we both lose
it. The moment has become chaos. Embaressment. lost words. Well that is a
perfectly good plan when you are trying to teach someone to pray to kneel. if
you know how to EXPLAIN THAT. ! I love to laugh in the middle of public prayers
(Rexi :) ) NOT bad idea. I was so incapable of finishing the prayer. the
embarressment just increases as does the laughter and there was no recovering
from that. My companion. Thank good ness for her. ends my misery "in the
name of Jesus Christ" I am horible.
The MTC is an institute of embarresment and resiliance. LOL
Could I have done worse,. For sure. I have certainly learned to laugh at myself
(sometimes in the most inopportune moments) To be honest in the best way I
could, I redeemed myself. The lesson really went well other than my mental
episode and our investigator delivereed one of the most beauitul prayers I have
ever almost understood :) --- he will probably get babtized. I will win him
with my charm. hahaha. cause my Russian certainly wont do the trick.
Look forward to my MTC survival guide it is going to be some
good stuff--- including how to enjoy some two ply t-p :) hahahaha.
TIME TO GO. never enough time. it is flying.
I love you all I miss you. WRITE ME
use dear elder. write letters. I miss everyone.
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