This week has been more of a week of personal growth. The MTC truly is one special place.
I saw a lot of friends this week. Shannon Oh (Sister Oh) and Kevin Hale!
Time flies and with that it all seems to smear together. This may be a tad more uneventful but has certainly been a week of growth.
The highlight of my week:::::
I am just going to share with you my journal entry. It should do the trick of summing up the moment. " July 11th SLURPY day. A non exsistant holiday to a servant of the lord :) hope you all got some SLURPIES :):):)
"lots of growing up in my little mission world" wiiiiiith my very first 1st MTC mental collapse :) hahahaha The moment we have all been waiting for.
we had a high pressure planning session with our teacher. We were to plan a lesson with him and soon after we were to share this lesson with out progressing investigator. As time ran low, stress ran HIIIIIGH, our lesson was not planned and I was about to have a heart attack. I didn't have a lesson plan, nothing written, none prepared and with no language fluency----------- this was no recipe for success. (as we progress in the lessons we have a whole new set of vocabulary words, rest assured I am learning I am just trailing at lesson pace)
I call this moment :
"my psychotic-mental-melting-break-point-scaredy-baby-I-knew-it- was-coming--what-did-i-get-myself-into-RUSSIAN???-I-am-going-to-die-moment! " (that is almost a hash tagger worthy sentence) ------- "tears were shed"
"precious little tears began to run down my face as Brother Barns asked me what I was suppose to know but surely did not --- "my incompetance was too much for me to handle."
Brother Barnes tried not to notice and that just made things interesting. Instead of words coming out of my mouth. Tears came out of my eye. I felt so bad, I am no baby! but this moment was sure to happen and arent we all glad we could baske in it. I wrote him a little note later to apologize for the "awkward" we all partook of.
It was truly not a big deal. It was kinda cute actually. I got overwhelmed and the next thing I knew my little eye was expressing my feelings. There was no weeping or true sadness, but just a tear as a struggled to find words I knew not.
I just love that the moment finally came.
I absolutely know what I signed up for and I knew the tears would come at some point. I can honestly say I treasure my mini meltdown. Tears were shed but my sorrowed soul was soon to be mended by Brother Barnes with a secret stash of my favorite gummies. :):)
--- The next day Brother Barnes mentioned he was about to bring me a peach (yet he feared his wife's wrath for taking the fruit)---He knows me :)---- I think he was working at further mending my spirits and the precious moment that we all shared together the previous day.
That leads me to once again share how much I TRULY love my district. We constantly confess our love for one another. My classroom is a sanctuary among children. I have been thinking a lot about how my experience would be so much different if I had not been placed with those in my district who are truly here for the right reasons. I look around at the classrooms next to us and cannot help but feel that heavenly father has placed some truly choice spirits in our classroom. I feel that there is incredible purpose for each of us. ---- My district has really molded my experience. Every group discussion is fulfilling. Which leads me to my greatest take away from the week.
D & C 121:44-45
"let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men! and to a household of faith and let virtue garnesh thy thoughts unceasingly then shall they confidence wax strong in the presence of god. and the doctorine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven. the holy ghost shall be they constant companion......."
It is so shocking to me that with just these few things my confindence will be 100% That I can stand before my father in heaven and be proud of what I have done.
I can take this and apply it to now. I am asked to be BOLD and brave and that is something that I certainly struggle with! but as I do all I can I can rest assured that the holt ghost will be my constant companion. If I am filled with love of all man which is my only real strength--- and SIMPLY have faith that heavenly father will help me I won't have to cry everytime I can't remember a word :) hehe.
Enoch in Moses chapter 6 is my new hero. He lacked confidence as I certainly often do and by the time the lord was through with him all those who knew him had to say was "tell us plainly who thou art and whence thou comest" I doubt I will change much as for my personallity.... but atleast I can become brave and confident. I would be a bucket of tears if it were not for the spirit.
This is an opportunity not a sacrifice. That is truth--- I am so grateful I am in a position in my life to leave it behind for a little while. To lose myself just for a bit and find more of Jesus in my life. I have been reading a lot about our savior and the true character of Christ. It is changing things for me. I am seeking to become a true disciple of christ as I was when I left but it is becoming more and more real.. I cannot wait to taste of the love that he has for each of us. Humility has become my best friend and along with that a spicy amount of embarressment.
We will talk more of the savior. I have am still learning.
I love you all dearly
ps. please excuse my wretched grammer and incomplete stories.
pss. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU FOR THE PEACHES. They truly mend my unbroken spirits :) hahahahaa Just look at the photographical evidence of the happiness that I feel. I love all my friends and family. I LOVE PEACHES.
psss. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! write me! and where has KIMBERLEE gone!!!?????????????
pssss. THANK YOU MOM :) , RACHEL, MASON, LINDSAY, CHELSEA , LYDIA, and KATIE!, DEBBIE! LEtters come! (except I need lindsay's address)
psssss. WHITNEY I LOVE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!